eBusiness Weekly
This is Part Two of “Correct without humiliation”
Arthur Marara
This is a continuation from last week’s article. If you missed it, please make it a point to look for it online so that you can have a full appreciation of where we are coming from.
In our interactions with others, it is inevitable that we will come across situations where we feel the need to correct someone.
Whether it’s a mistake in their work, a misunderstanding of a concept, or an error in their behaviour, we may be tempted to correct them and set things right. However, the way we approach this task can have a profound impact on the other person’s self-esteem, confidence and overall well-being.
William James, the influential philosopher and psychologist, understood the importance of correction, but also recognised the significance of doing so in a manner that avoids humiliating or demeaning the person being corrected. James himself experienced moments of humiliation in his own life, and his journey teaches us the power of correcting others with compassion and empathy.
When approaching the task of correction, it is essential to consider the following principles:
1. Choose the right time and place: Correcting someone publicly or in a confrontational manner can be embarrassing and demoralising. Instead, find an appropriate time and place where the individual feels safe and supported. This could be in a private conversation, a one-on-one meeting or a constructive team setting.
2. Use language that promotes understanding and growth: Frame your correction in a positive and constructive way. Focus on the behaviour or mistake, rather than personalising it, and avoid using blame or judgment. Use language that highlights the opportunity for learning, improvement and growth.
Remember what Maya Angelou once said; “People may forget what you said but they never forget how you made them feel.”
3. Provide specific and actionable feedback: When correcting someone, be clear and specific about what needs to be corrected. Offer practical suggestions or guidance on how to make the necessary improvements. It is not enough to just shout and vent you anger. Providing examples and offering solutions can make it easier for the individual to understand and apply the correction.
4. Practice active listening and empathy: Allow the person being corrected to express their perspective and feelings. Practice active listening by paraphrasing and reflecting their thoughts and emotions. Show empathy and understanding, reinforcing that your intention is to support their growth and development, rather than criticise or belittle them.
5. Encourage self-reflection and self-correction: Instead of solely providing the answers or solutions, encourage the individual to reflect on their own actions, behaviours, or mistakes. Help them understand the implications of their actions and guide them in identifying ways to correct themselves. This promotes self-awareness, personal responsibility and a sense of ownership over their growth process.
6. Follow up and offer ongoing support: Check in with the person after the correction to see how they are progressing. Offer ongoing support, guidance and resources to help them make the necessary changes. Recognise and reinforce efforts and improvements, creating a culture that encourages personal accountability and continuous growth.
By correcting others with compassion, empathy and a growth mindset, you can support their personal and professional development, while also building positive and trusting relationships.
William James’ journey reminds us that correction can be a powerful tool for growth and improvement if approached with care and understanding.
The Psychological Impact of Humiliation:
Humiliation is a deeply painful experience that can have lasting effects on an individual’s self-esteem, confidence, and overall well-being. When someone feels humiliated, their sense of self-worth and dignity can be severely undermined. This can lead to feelings of shame, embarrassment, and inadequacy.
Moreover, humiliation can trigger a defensive response in the person being corrected. They may become resistant to feedback, become defensive, or even retaliate. This response is a natural defense mechanism to protect their sense of self and avoid further psychological harm.
The detrimental effects of humiliation can extend beyond the immediate interaction. It can create a hostile work environment, strain relationships, and hinder collaboration and productivity. Additionally, individuals who have experienced humiliation may be less willing to take risks, voice their opinions, or contribute ideas due to the fear of being humiliated again.
The way we correct others can have a profound impact on their self-esteem, confidence, and overall well-being. By approaching correction with compassion, empathy, and respect, we can foster an environment that allows for growth, learning, and positive relationships.
William James understood the importance of correcting others without humiliating them, as he himself experienced the negative effects of humiliation. By adopting strategies that prioritize empathy, constructive language, and support, we can correct others in a manner that encourages personal growth, fosters collaboration, and preserves the dignity of all individuals involved.
Arthur Marara is a corporate law attorney, keynote speaker, peak performance and corporate strategy speaker. With his delightful humour, raw energy, and wealth of life experiences, he captivates audiences and inspires them to unlock their full potential. He is also a leadership expert and a dedicated leadership mentor. He is passionate about developing effective leaders. Through his engaging talks and workshops, he imparts invaluable insights and practical strategies that empower individuals to lead with confidence and make a lasting impact. Arthur is the author of “Toys for Adults” a thought provoking book on entrepreneurship, and “No one is Coming” a book that seeks to equip leaders to take charge. Send your feedback to [email protected] or Visit his website www.arthurmarara.com or contact him on +263772467255 (Calls) or WhatsApp: +263780055152.
