There is always a tendency to look outside for who is sabotaging you. What if in actual fact, it was you who is sabotaging yourself.
I was on Star FM earlier this year and the topic was quite weird, “#NdiweMuroyi”, translated “you are the witch”, or bringing it close home, “you are bewitching yourself”.
It takes a lot of courage to sit down and introspect and see the role we are playing in sabotaging ourselves. At times such behaviours maybe conscious, and in other instances unconscious. This week we want to look at five sabotaging habits that you need to stop urgently especially if you are practising them.
Humans are creatures of habits
You are what you consistently do. This is so real. Even the Aristotle once remarked that, “We are repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” Our lives therefore are a result of what we do consistently. These are our habits. Habits refers to patterns of behaviour that become permanent by virtue of repetition. These habits can either propel us forward, or they can actually pull us down. In essence the non-progressive habits actually sabotage you in the process. What are some of the habits that you need to stop immediately. Let us look at these below;
#1 You don’t accept responsibility
This is what is common with many people. They do not want to take responsibility. They want what is easy when they can blame someone else for what is happening in their business and in their life. If you want to grow and change your life, you need to learn to accept responsibility. Your business will take the direction that you choose.
If you cannot take charge of your life you cannot change it. Victims see other people as the cause for their misfortunes. Victors see themselves as the authors of their fortunes. You can take charge of your finances, your marriage, your family, your business, your social life. You can do all that, the moment you resolve to live your life, and face whatever that comes.
Steve Maraboli once made a profound remark; “Today is a new day. Don’t let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!”
There is power within you to turn your situation around. You cannot see all this if you always see yourself as a victim.
You might view accepting responsibility for every single result in your life as scary but it is not. Taking responsibility is liberating, it gives you control of life. When you don’t accept responsibility for your life, you are handing off control to someone or something else you are sabotaging yourself instead of empowering yourself.
“Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy” — (Wayne Gretzky). One of the greatest problems that is bedevilling the world today and since time immemorial is procrastination.
Procrastination is the art of deferring what is supposed to be done today, to tomorrow. It is the ability to distance one’s self from what is supposed to be done at the moment and take solace in the fact that it can be done some other day.
Greatness is in impatience with procrastination. You can never do anything with your life if you just use your diary to elope today’s tasks. Great ideas have perished at the hands of procrastinators.
Disembark from procrastination and embark on a meaningful journey to fully maximise on your time. Do you now that starting anything can be both the hardest part and the easiest part. You will never realise how easy it is until you actually start. Stop putting things off when you know you need to do them.
Establish the cause of your procrastination
What causes us to procrastinate. There many factors, and these will call for a stand-alone article; Lack of clarity, Lack of confidence, and High perfectionism. These are some of the common causes. Find a way of working on these so that you will not procrastinate further.
Solomon says, “Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.” “Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently.” (William Arthur Ward).
William Arthur Ward (1921–March 30, 1994) was gifted author, poet, and is one of the most quoted authors of inspirational maxims. His recipe for success captures one important principle of success; success is not an accident.
Planning is key to success, but over planning will turn out to be the worst form of sabotage. Many people try to plan every last step, every last detail of what they need. Although there is need for clarity, in real life it is often impossible to plan every last detail like we want to.
You’ve have to realise when enough is enough and when you’re over planning. Understanding this distinction can turn out of an asset in your corner.
#4 Not setting goals
“Success is goals and all else is commentary” (Brian Tracy). Brian Tracy is one of the leading authorities on leadership and personal development. He summarises the importance of goals to the success equation.
Successful people have the discipline of deliberately, and intentionally setting goals for their lives and their businesses. Discipline births habits. Goal setting can actually develop into a habit. Successful people have successful habits.
Many people have goals but the vast majority of people keep their goals in their head. This is not goal-setting. These are simply wishes. You need to write your goal down and make sure it is:
With a deadline
Can be broken down into daily actions.
Your goals need to have a why behind it. If you have not written your goal down or if it doesn’t meet all 5 of these criteria, you haven’t set your goal.
#5 You let your emotions control you
We all have emotions. At least this is what makes us human. There is a time and place for emotions, but that time and place is not when it comes to getting things done. Your emotions will always seek comfort.
Your emotions will always want you to choose being entertained over being educated. You need to remove your emotions from your work, be disciplined and actually get things done. Doing your work, and mastering your craft should be a non-negotiable.
Join me on Star FM on Wednesdays (09:40am-10:00am) for some moments of inspiration on the Breeze with V Candy.
Arthur Marara is a corporate law attorney, keynote speaker, corporate and personal branding speaker commanding the stage with his delightful humour, raw energy, and wealth of life experiences. He is a financial wellness expert and is passionate about addressing the issues of wellness, strategy and personal and professional development. Send your feedback to [email protected] or visit his website www.arthurmarara.com or contact him on WhatsApp: wa.me//263780055152 or call +263772467255.