Learn to manage expectations

20 Jan, 2023 - 00:01 0 Views
Learn to manage expectations

eBusiness Weekly

Arthur Marara

If you have ever been disappointed by people this article is for you. There are two types of people, those who have been disappointed, and those who are going to be disappointed.

Some will call it attracting negative energy, but truth be told, it’s just be realistic. You are going to be disappointed at the workplace that you have worked so hard to develop, you are going to be disappointed at that business, you built from scratch by people who just saw an opportunity and capitalised on you. Someone is jobless right now because of people. Someone lost a potential deal that could have turned around their business because of people. Someone now has enemies they never had because of people.

People are people!

Founder and President of Forward in Faith Ministries International, Professor Ezekiel H Guti has an interesting statement that he says, “People are people.” This has become one of his signature statements when describing people. Come to think of it, this is a profound statement which often describes the character and nature of many people. You may have had some rough encounters with people, either at home, at work or even in ministry, but before you choose to become angry remember that people are people.

You will always have fights

There are people who have made it their business to fight you. There are some people who will have sleepless nights planning on how to effectively fight you and bring you down.  In fact some of the worst fights come from churches, or some of the most unlikely of places. There are several churches that have passed through secular platforms fighting each other for control, ignoring what even the good book says about dispute resolution. These are not the last, more will come.

Have you seen or heard what pastors say about their fellow pastors? People are always quick to conclude that someone is using back magic because their ministry is growing faster. Some even go to the extent of fabricating allegations, and vociferously feeding them to the social media. Have you ever seen how people treat fellow church mates, and sometimes you can even get confused as to whether or not these are church people or something else.

The same equally applies in business, where people will concoct stories just to get to you and your business. The truth is that people are people. Whether or not you want to fight, there are people who will always be fighting you.

Do not stress, God has already guaranteed that, “no weapon formed against you shall prosper.” What this means is that people are going to form weapons, but this is a sheer waste of time, because they will not prosper. Do not fight people, but like Paul, fight the good fight of faith.

You can’t please everyone

This is the truth; you will never be able to please every person. You do not sell ice cream so do not expect everyone to like you. There are people who will never like you no matter what you do. I have also noted that there are people who will never like you even if you never did anything wrong to them. This is why people are fired at workplaces at times.

The boss just does not like you, and suddenly some spurious allegations are raised against you, and suddenly someone is dismissed from employment. Those who have worked and went through some horror moments at workplace will confirm this. That is the nature of people. People are people!

Instead of focusing on making you likeable, why don’t you focus on those who like you? Do not go where you are tolerated, go where you are celebrated. This was even Jesus strategy, he went where he was celebrated and not tolerated.

Not everyone liked Jesus that is why he was killed on the cross. Prior to that there were even attempts to stone him. I will not go into the theological discourse as to why he was crucified.

Imagine, Jesus healed several people, and fed thousands of people, but none of those people stood for his case. It might not be surprising that some of the people whom he fed could even have been part of the crowd that was calling for his crucifixion. That is the nature of people.

Do not expect the people you once helped to come to your rescue. That is not guaranteed, but thank God if they do come. You will never be able to please everyone. Comedian Bill Cosby once remarked that, I do not know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone. I do agree with his sentiments.

People change

Have you ever talked to someone and agreed on something and the following day they turn around, and appear like they are seeing you for the first time? If yes, you are not the only one. People change. There are several people who were left in serious legal battles simply because someone decided to change. Sometimes the people, who used to be your best friends, can turn out to be your worst enemies in the future.

There are people who are willing to be your friend when everything is going your way, but nowhere to be seen when you are in crisis. Measure your friends by who stays when everyone is leaving. People make promises which they cannot keep. They let you make promises banking on their promises only for them to tell you they cannot. The answer is simple, people are people! When you understand this, you should not be shocked when something of this sort or even worse happens to you.

Do not put your trust in people

I am not encouraging you not to trust in people, but some of the greatest disappointments came from people who trusted in people.

People have been cheated in the name of “trust”, people have been conned of their life time investments in the name of “trust”.  In the fact the past few weeks the DNA crew has been providing video footages of “fathers” who got rude awakening that the children they thought they were theirs are not in any way biologically related to them.

Some people were impregnated in the name of “trust”, and some even infected with dreadful diseases in the name of “trust”. Trust is an amazing thing, and is really the basis of functional relationships. Your word must be your deed. The truth is that many people have suffered in the name of “trust”.

This is why you should not put your trust in people. In fact that bible says it. I enjoy studying the Bible, and I found some interesting verses, on trusting in men.

Psalm 118:8 – “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in people.” (NLT)

Micah 7:5-7 — “Don’t trust anyone- not your best friend or even your wife! For the son despises his father. The daughter defies her mother. The daughter-in-law defies her mother-in-law. Your enemies are right in your own household! As for me, I look to the LORD for help. I wait confidently for God to save me, and my God will certainly hear me.” (NLT) (This one will shake many people especially when Micah says “even your wife”. The good part I am not the one who said it. How many stories have you read of spouses who cheat on their spouses yet their claim to love them?)

Jeremiah 17:5 — “This is what the LORD says: “Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans, who rely on human strength and turn their hearts away from the LORD.”(NLT)

John 2:24 — “But Jesus didn’t trust them, because he knew human nature.” (NLT)

For those who share my Christian faith, you will note these familiar verses. They share some very painful yet saving truths about life and trusting in people. Do not put your trust in politicians, put your trust in God. Do not put your trust even in “men of God”, put your trust in God.

There are several churches that collapsed when the men of God fell into sin, and everyone was holding on to the “man of God”. There are people who were left stranded when businesses collapsed because they were putting their trust in the CEO or the shareholder. Put your trust in the Lord.

People have issues

You may see someone driving an expensive car or coming out from an expensive house, and think that everything is alright, but the truth is that it’s not always the case. People have serious issues.

Some people have very beautiful wives, and very handsome husbands, yet they cannot even spend a single night without fighting, and yet someone is busy admiring them. Do not conclude quickly by what you see on the outside. It’s often the unspoken that speaks volumes about the current state of affairs.

People do have issues, and sometimes if they tell you, you will be shocked to the core. Some people do not even have anyone to talk to about what affects them, and they constantly bottle things up. This usually explains the majority of suicide cases.

There is also a tendency for some people to burst at whoever is close, and sometimes it maybe at you.

Remember, people have issues, and sometimes this has nothing to do with you. Find someone to confide in. I know trustworthy people are difficult to find, but getting someone you can talk to can be one of the greatest investments you can ever make. I have made a commitment not to go to bed, without speaking out my frustrations to someone. It has kept me sane for years.

Some thoughts to ponder on

I can write an entire book on this subject, but let me terminate this subject at this stage. I want to leave you with some interesting quotes from some interesting people. I hope they will inspire you.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” — Lao Tzu

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”  – Aristotle

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.” — Lao Tzu

“If you live for people’s acceptance, you will die from their rejection.” — Lecrae

“When you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self-acceptance opened.” — Shannon L. Alder

“The only thing wrong with trying to please everyone is that there’s always at least one person who will remain unhappy. You.” — Elizabeth Parker


Arthur Marara is a corporate law attorney, keynote speaker, corporate and personal branding speaker commanding the stage with his delightful humour, raw energy, and wealth of life experiences. He is a financial wellness expert and is passionate about addressing the issues of wellness, strategy and personal and professional development. Arthur is the author of “Toys for Adults” a thought provoking book on entrepreneurship, and “No one is Coming” a book that seeks to equip leaders to take charge. Send your feedback to [email protected] or Visit his website www.arthurmarara.com or contact him on WhatsApp: +263780055152.


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